4 deer hunters
Four friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an ten-point buck.
"Where's Billy Bob?"
"Billy Bob had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail."
"You left Billy Bob laying out there and carried the deer back?"
"A tough call," nodded the hunter "but I figured no one, in their right mind, is going to steal Billy Bob."
Deer hunters at the bar
One night during the local deer hunting season a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy country bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a deer hunter tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, then try his keys in five different cars before he found his. He sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. All the other deer hunters left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.00. The puzzle officer demanded to know how that could be. The deer hunter replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
Dave and Fred get lost
One day Dave and Fred were Deer Hunting, and they got lost. Dave tells Fred "wait, don't panic I learned what to do in case this happens. Your supposed to shoot up into the air three times and someone will here you and come with help," "okay" said Fred. So he shoots three times into the air. They both wait an hour and no one shows up. So they shoot three times again and still no one shows up. Bewildered they try this again and again for the next couple of hours. Fred starts to look a little worried, then he shouts "It better work this time, were down to our last three arrows!"
3 deer hunters
Three men go deer hunting, two are smart, and one is dumb. The first smart one goes out and 2 hours later comes back with a deer. The other two ask how he did it, and he said, "I found the tracks, I followed the tracks, I found the deer, I killed the deer."
So the other smart one goes out, and 1 hour later he comes back with a deer. They ask how he did it. He said " I found the tracks, I followed the tracks, I found the deer, I killed the deer."
So the dumb hunter goes out, and 2 hours later, he comes back beaten and bruised. The other 2 asked what happened. He said "I found the tracks, I followed the tracks, I got hit by a train."
They shot 6 deer
Two hunters got a pilot to fly them into the far north for deer hunting. They were quite successful in their venture and bagged six big bucks. The pilot came back, as arranged, to pick them up.
They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six deer. But the pilot objected and he said, "The plane can only take four of your deer, you will have to leave two behind." They argued with him; the year before they had shot six and the pilot had allowed them to put all aboard. The plane was the same model and capacity. Reluctantly, the pilot finally permitted them to put all six aboard. But when the attempted to take off and leave the valley, the little plane could not make it and they crashed into the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one hunter said to the other, "Do you know where we are?" "I think so," replied the other hunter. I think this is about the same place where we crashed last year!"
Deer hunting in bear country
A first time deer hunter booked a hunt with an experienced outfitter. He would be hunting a productive area, but it was filled with grizzly bears. When he got to camp, he insisted that his guide be 60 years old or older. The outfitter thought this was very odd, seeing that the hunter himself was in his early thirties.
The novice hunter downed a nice buck, but skinning and butchering the deer attracted some big grizzlies in the area. The hunter returned to base camp with his clothes shredded, telling the story of being attacked by a bear.
The outfitter wanted to know where his guide was. The hunter said he was still laying in the woods. The outfitter asked him how his clothes got torn, and the hunter said that while they were working on the deer carcass, a grizzly bear had ambushed them and he was attacked.
He said, "I hit the bear with my gun and took off running. As I was running away the guide yelled at me to play dead, that you can't outrun a bear. I yelled back, I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you."
Jokes Courtesy http://www.rolltidebama.com/jokes.htm
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